[SCA-BMDL] courtesy

[Diana Slivinska]

Greetings, all!

Here are some random thoughts from a handworker - I knit, crochet,  
bead, quilt, yada yada.  Some of these arts require more mental focus  
and concentration than others.

I don't do counted cross stitch, reticella or drawn thread work at  
meetings or in court.  For one thing, the supplies take up more  
space, and I have to pay closer attention, since my preferred forms  
of stitching involve something like 36-threads-to-the-inch linen.   
Better done at home, in the quiet, with better light than we have at  
most events.

I could sew pre-pinned quilt pieces together at Court or in a  
meeting.  It is the planning, cutting, selecting and pinning that  
takes concentration. But sewing two little thingies together with a  
tiny running stitch?  Not so much.

I have been knitting since I was eleven.  I can knit just about  
anywhere, any time.  In movie theatres, in the dark, in the car (what  
else does one do on a 6-hour trip?).  I have knit in Continuing Legal  
Education classes, inconspicuously (one was so deadly dull that I  
knit *and* read a book, at the same time!).  I have knit at Barony  
Meeting.  Currently, there's a little group of us who have been  
knitting socks in Court; none of our Royalty have objected.  Knitting  
is a quiet activity, and in a large hall such as we use for Court,  
we're not likely to be disturbing anyone.  Socks are small and  
portable, we need only 5 little needles and a small ball of yarn,  
that's all; the whole business fits easily in a lap, basket or small  
satchel.

I read somewhere, a long time ago, that the tiny sounds made by  
knitting needles can be soothing to hospital patients (knitting used  
to be a pastime done often by people sitting at the bedsides of sick  
people).   I do find that knitting occupies the part of my mind that  
tends to wander, and I am able to enjoy things like Court more  
thoroughly without the constant inner monologue that goes on inside  
my head when it doesn't have enough to occupy it.  I have the same  
inner monologue problem with mindless forms of exercise such as  
walking on a treadmill (I am *not* a hamster!) or riding a stationary  
bike - which is why group classes like Zumba work better for me; I  
have to pay attention, so I stay focused and don't end up  
woolgathering instead of working out!

You can determine a lot by the demeanor of the individual  
handworker.  Is the person engaging in conversation while their hands  
are doing something else?  If so, then what's the problem?  Where is  
the handworker's eyes, on the work, or on other people?  Are they so  
focused on their handwork that they are oblivious to everything going  
on around them?  I would find that rude and unacceptable, much like  
reading a book at a party.

Some of this is cultural.  I come from a handworking family; I don't  
recall my mom ever sitting down in the evening without a piece of  
embroidery or crochet in hand unless she was sick.  For us, handwork  
at family gatherings was normal and even expected.  I know others  
whose families don't make anything; they never seem to understand why  
I'd want to knit a sock when I could just go to K-Mart and buy some,  
and I've given up trying to explain.  "I do it because it pleases me  
to do it" never seems to satisfy them.  They are also the most likely  
to feel that I'm not paying sufficient attention to them if I'm also  
knitting.

Yes, I am one of those people who has a hard time *not*  
multitasking.  It is nearly impossible for me to watch TV or DVDs  
without something else to do - I either fall asleep or get fidgety -  
unless I am exhausted (then I tend to fall asleep anyway).  However,  
I find it more rude to be texting, emailing, or working on a laptop  
during a meeting - those endeavors require lots of attention to be  
paid to the electronic gizmo and whatever you're typing, and are far  
more likely to cause the worker not to pay attention to the meeting  
(we've banned laptop and cellphone use at our company's meetings,  
unless the laptop is being used specifically for the item being  
discussed or presented).

I find taking phone calls while in company the rudest activity of all  
- first of all, the phone makes noise, then the person whose phone  
rang makes noise answering it.  The talker then turns away from his  
companions and ignores them to yak with a third person not present.   
IMO, that is rude; far ruder than someone engaging in conversation  
while their hands are otherwise occupied.  The message sent by  
phoners is, "You (who are present) are less important/worthy/ 
interesting than this other person who has commanded my attention  
(although not present)."  Ruuuuuuuuude!

Just my unravelings for the day,

--Giulietta