[SCA-BMDL] courtesy

[muirgens at aol.com]

An interesting question...

I agree with Brandubh.? Doing handwork indicates that you are only there to listen and perhaps make a comment or two -- not participate actively.? I don't mind people doing handwork for the most part in an SCA meeting context or when friends gather for a casual "hang out" kind of get together.? 

I do think it is inappropriate when the?main activity is a performance or more formal talk or if your presence has specifically been requested (in our context that might be "Let's meet at 4 to?plan out?the event" or, more broadly, "let's have coffee on Thursday and catch up").? In those settings doing anything other than actively attending sends a message that the event or the person you are meeting with is simply not important enough to warrant your full attention.? 

Certainly if a person is being paid to be in a meeting (i.e.: at work) they should be paying attention and not engaging in a hobby-type activity.? That being said, I certainly doodle and write shopping lists in work meetings where my active participation is not needed.?

I know some people claim that doing hand work actually helps them concentrate.? I'm not sure that I buy that, but then I don't multitask well, don't do much hand work, and have a career that requires me to actively listen to people for sometimes hours at a time...

morgen


-----Original Message-----
From: Wolfgang Guntherson <wolfgangguntherson at yahoo.com>
To: Barony-Marche of the Debatable Lands <sca-bmdl at lists.andrew.cmu.edu>
Sent: Thu, 17 Jul 2008 9:36 am
Subject: Re: [SCA-BMDL] courtesy




I agree with Dear Abbey...although with a very small caveat.  For purely social 
situations...parties, feasts and events where lots of things are going on, I 
don't see any problem with it.  But at a meeting with a specific purpose, I do 
think it is rude, especially if a presentation is being given.  If you aren't 
interested in providing your full attention, why are you there?  If you want to 
socialise, there are other more appropriate times to do so...like...after the 
meeting.

Not only do I not knit, but I am terrible at multi-tasking.

Wolfgang

> 
> On 7/17/08, Raven <hraefnn at yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Hi all,
> >
> > The following letter appeared in Dear Abby.  Many
> gentles in this barony and the SCA knit, embroider, etc. at
> gatherings where the main activity has nothing to do with
> their handwork.  Do you find this rude?  Why or why not?
> Please state if you indulge in this habit.
> >
> > Hrefna
> >
> > P.S. Since some people may have their lives threatened
> by their significant other if they respond with anything
> other then "Of course it's not rude, Dear",
> those folks can email me privately to have their true
> opinions posted anonymously.
> >
> >
> > -------------------------------------
> >
> > DEAR ABBY: Is it rude or inconsiderate for a person to
> knit, crochet or piece a quilt while attending a meeting or
> other gathering? -- CURIOUS IN THE SUNBELT
> >
> > DEAR CURIOUS: Although I may get some argument about
> this, I do think it's rude. When someone is attending a
> meeting or a social gathering, it is considered good manners
> to give the speaker or other attendees your full attention.
> And while I expect to hear from readers who say they can
> "multi-task," to do so sends the wrong message.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> > And this above all to thine own self be true.
> >                                - Shakespeare,
> "Hamlet"
> >
> >
> >
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