[SCA-Dance] The Creepy, the rude, and the weird

Rebecca Mikkelsen mikkelsen_rebecca at hotmail.com
Tue Jul 21 15:45:17 EDT 2009

This thread is bringing up all kinds of "ewwww" memories ;)


> Date: Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:18:38 -0400
> From: ladycaitriona at gmail.com
> To: sca-dance at sca-dance.org
> Subject: Re: [SCA-Dance] The Creepy, the rude, and the weird
> These are some pet peeve areas off the top of my head. As with everything
> else in life, YMMV.
> Hygeine - We all have to scratch our nose from time to time, move our hair
> out of our face, we suddenly get something painful in our eye. It happens.
> And Pennsic is hardly the most sanitary place on earth. But if there's
> anything you can avoid doing that would spread germs to or otherwise gross
> out your partner, then avoid it.
> Don't actively pick your nose or pull things out of it, or dig around inside
> your ear or mouth or whatnot, and then expect people to want to touch your
> hand. If you have to cough or sneeze, do it into your elbow or sleeve, just
> like they taught you in the swine flu panic. Use the antibacterial goo after
> visiting the portajohn, wipe your hands off if you've been eating the greasy
> fries across from the dance barn, wash off the blood if you've been moving
> bodies.
> Brushing your teeth and taking a shower every now and then doesn't hurt
> either.
> Grabbing and dragging - If I'm struggling with a new dance and already
> confused or frustrated, the last thing that helps me figure it out is for my
> partner (or the dance teacher) to grab my body like a doll and point it
> where they think it should go.
> Gentle guiding by the hand, arm, or elbow is one thing. Grabbing me
> forcefully by my shoulders, back, legs, waist, or hips(!) and roughly
> dragging or shoving me somewhere as if I were a mannequin is another
> entirely. As I often find myself saying to the children of friends, "use
> your words".
> This may be a regional or personal space difference as it doesn't seem to
> bother some people at all, but when someone does it to me, I do everything I
> can to make sure I never dance with that person again. To me, it's just
> plain rude.
> Flirting - A little flirting during dancing is encouraged. Sometimes even a
> lot of flirting is encouraged. However, if the person you are flirting with
> isn't flirting back, then perhaps you should stop. I think dancing is way
> more fun with flirting, but not everyone does, and that's just life. Not
> everyone wishes to flirt with a stranger, and that's just life.
> I've known multiple people who will not dance with specific dancers in my
> region because those dancers' level of flirting is so aggressive and over
> the top that it makes some people violently uncomfortable. And yet I've
> known other people who think those dancers' level of flirting is the cat's
> meow. It's very personal; err on the side of being conservative until you
> know someone better or have danced with them enough times to know their
> style.
> Expectations - We've all been in that situation where we want to do a
> favorite dance, but the set is one person short. Wait, look! A new person
> over there on that bench! They would love this dance, I'm sure!
> If someone who wasn't planning to dance gets up to help you complete your
> set, be courteous to them. They have done you a favor. If they have told you
> from the outset that it's a dance they don't know, and you ask them to join
> anyway, then don't get angry with them if they get confused or don't do it
> perfectly. They already told you they didn't know it! Use it as an
> opportunity to help them learn this great dance, and you will now have yet
> another person to dance it with. Use it as an opportunity to be a jerk, and
> they will simply think you're a jerk.
> My several cents...
> Caitriona
> -- 
> Heather Cougar
> Caitriona of Greenwood Isle
> ladycaitriona at gmail.com
> Seneschal, Barony of Carolingia
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