[ECE PhiBar] [ece-phi] The Problem (and Solution) of the Drinking ECEs

Jesse Guss jesseguss at gmail.com
Wed Sep 24 15:48:33 EDT 2008

It seems to me that each student drinknig process really needs a specific
core of resources, but there is no reason you should all be sharing the same
core.  Why not assign each student a unique core specifically designed for
optimal drinking efficiency?  I should think a keg fashioned into a chair
and a hose would do nicely.  Each student drinking process would only have
to access the Genevieve once when the process is called, and once again to
close out the tab when the process is complete.  Naturally, Genevieve's
efficiency would still come into play if two processes began or ended at the
same time, but it's not my fault you're still running Windows ME.

In conclusion, drinking beer is a highly parallizable process.  It would run
faster on a GPU.

Jesse, whois drinking the Kool-Aid.

On Wed, Sep 24, 2008 at 12:22 PM, Boris Lipchin <blipchin at ece.cmu.edu>wrote:

> As I sit here in Operating Systems lecture, I have started to question
> some inner-workings of the Universe.  Here are some examples of the
> fruits of a single OS lecture.
> Does sleep truly exist? Do the OS TAs have souls? How long has Eckerd
> been growing his beard? Will my kernel ever trully attain Zen?
> The most fundamental question however, is that of the Drinking ECE
> Majors. How do a bunch of ECE majors manage hotly demanded resources
> such as beer and cups in the highly preemptable environment that is phi
> bar? Although you may not know it, we have been drinking at Phi Bar
> completely unaware of race conditions running rampant at the table.
> Problems such as deadlock (oh ... you're going to finish it?), livelock
> (no no, after you), lack of beer/resources (crap!) , and worst of all
> starvation (where's my beer?!!) have made our beer drinking woefully
> inefficient.
> No more.
>  From now on we will implement cutting edge synchronization algorithms
> to optimize consumption of Phi Bar's precious resources. Today at Phi
> Bar we will experiment with several synchronization and scheduling
> methodologies, so please come prepared to drink triple portions while
> taking careful timing measurements of beer consumption.
> Feel free to email the list with any ideas of how we can improve our
> system.
> Boris
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Jesse Guss
201 W Ferndale Ave.
Sunnyvale CA 94085
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