[ECE PhiBar] What Your Laptop and Barry Bonds Have in Common

Jeremy Weagley jweagley at andrew.cmu.edu
Tue Mar 25 00:30:39 EDT 2008

You know, maybe they're on to something here. I mean, maybe a closer
investigation is warranted. Have you guys looked at what's going on inside
computers these days? Master-slave flip flops? Biased logic gates? Servicing
misses? Underneath the seemingly clean exterior of computer engineering
there lies a dark underworld, and it's time that we expose it to the light. 

-Jeremy, who really did make all those crappy jokes just now

-----Original Message-----
From: ece-phi-bounces at lists.andrew.cmu.edu
[mailto:ece-phi-bounces at lists.andrew.cmu.edu] On Behalf Of Douglas Robl
Sent: Monday, March 24, 2008 11:26 PM
To: ece-phi at lists.andrew.cmu.edu
Subject: [ECE PhiBar] What Your Laptop and Barry Bonds Have in Common

Hey Guys,

I saw this on a news website and it made me upset.  Further proof that 
there are no engineers in government.

Congress Suspects Illegal Drugs Used in Semiconductor Manufacturing

After Congress's recent success with indicting Barry Bonds on charges 
that he used Steroids to bulk up for baseball, a new House Committee has 
formed to investigate shady behavior in semiconductor manufacturing.  
After an anonymous informant approached Congressman Rush Holt (D-NJ), 
Congressman Holt is now alleging that there is doping taking place in 
circuit manufacturing.  "For many years," Holt said, "Semiconductor 
companies have gotten away with doping their transistors to work at 
higher speeds than transistors that were not doped.  That's as good a 
definition of a performance enhancement drug as you can get."  Holt 
cautioned electrical engineers around the world to stop deceiving their 
consumers or face legal ramifications.  "These 'juiced' chips have 
become so ubiquitous and have become so entrenched in the industry that 
devices that aren't doped don't even stand a chance for success."  Holt 
added that he will also pursue legislation that any processor benchmark 
published about a "juiced" chip will need to be followed by an asterisk, 
indicating that the processor in question is one under suspicion.

This week at Phi Bar we'll be passing around a petition to stop Congress 
pursuing this stupid course of action.  And to end the Dave Onorato 
liquor tax.

See you Wednesday at 9.

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