[SIGBOVIK] SIGBOVIK 2022 Call for Chairs

[SIGBOVIK Announcements]

To All Students, Sentient AI or Otherwise:

Do you like non-serious research? What about furniture such as chairs?
Choosing and “earning” the honorific/title of your dreams? PCs and/or Macs?
Do we have a PC (program committee) for you! SIGBOVIK is recruiting various
chairs for the 2022 year! Unlike other years, we are also recruiting the
illustrious SIGBOVIK *general chair *through this email. Like other years,
the main job of the *general chair* is sending this email (so maybe you can
send it again if you end up being the *general chair*). Consider the
fantastic benefits you would receive:


But first, let me sell you on being the *general chair* of SIGBOVIK, which
is, above all, the chair that we currently need occupied the most:


Probably the most compelling reason to become the *general chair* of
SIGBOVIK is that you can claim that *satirical, seriously-executed research*
is your "thing". This has a myriad of benefits. For example, imagine that
you have recently submitted the results of your last year of work to a
conference, and the reviewers say that your paper is "awful" or "bad",
possibly in other terms—in most circumstances, for most researchers, this
would make you feel *bad.* But as a *satirical researcher*, you know that
your work isn't "bad", it's just that they didn't *get it.* The work was
*satire.* They don't *understand* that your work is not *serious*, it's
just *seriously-executed, *and *seriously-executed* to be a valuable
*critique* of the sort of research often done in that particular field. As
the *general chair* of SIGBOVIK, you can say: look, maybe my research is a
*joke*, but that was *the point*. I even ran a *joke conference, *I wrote
the *joke* foreword to the* serious* proceedings and emceed it on Twitch.
Whether or not your research is well-received, you can always come up with
a post-hoc explanation that it was actually *satire.* And this makes you
feel better, the unappreciated comedic genius that you are.


Obviously nobody would take your "satire" claim seriously without this
credential, *i.e.*, having been the *general chair* of SIGBOVIK.


With the pros [0] about the *general chair* out of the way (there are no
cons), here are more general (!) pros and cons applicable to the other
types of chairs:


Pros:


   - Goes great on CVs
   - Goes great on RCS, git, or whatever other system you prefer instead
   - Comes with a free contractual obligation to only say nice things about
   Harry Q. Bovik in perpetuity
   - People will understand when you miss that paper deadline you were
   targeting
   - May be considered "departmental service"
   - Sense of responsibility and belonging

Cons:


   - Everyone will expect you to have a great sense of humor
   - Everyone will think you are (part of?) a joke
   - Sense of responsibility and belonging

Other than the *general chair*, we are currently recruiting the following
chairs. To apply (including to be the *general chair*), simply send us an
email with your name and qualifications (NFT and/or pictures of cash bribes
optional).

*General Chair* — Sits on all the credit for the conference when in reality
other people set up most of the things

Tweet Chair — Sits on the keyboard making comical commentary in 280
characters or less

Art Chair — Sits on the cover of the SIGBOVIK proceedings

Website Chair — Sits on the web and corrects all of the links that
incorrectly point to the previous year

Awards Chair — Sits on the beautifully-designed awards, refusing to give
them out (experience with clipart a bonus!)

Conference Chair — Sits on the online conference platform of their choice
and dictates the order of talks/comedic interludes

Moderation Chair — Sits on the in-conference chat and rules it with a
(moderately) iron fist

Endowed Chair in Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film — Sits on some other PC

Note: the *general chair* generally has to also serve as the chairs that
were not found. We are also happy to explore the cutting edge of new
furniture if you saw this and thought of some other way you could
contribute.

Further disinformation is available on our website:

http://sigbovik.org

To keep up with our announcements, subscribe to our low-traffic mailing
list:

https://lists.andrew.cmu.edu/mailman/listinfo/sigbovik-announce

If you have no idea what’s going on:

SIGBOVIK is an evening of tongue-in-cheek academic presentations. If we
have a goal, it’s to poke fun at our fields and provide a venue for silly
ideas with (often but not always) serious executions. SIGBOVIK has both a
published proceedings and live talks, and everyone is welcome to
participate in either or both of these. All subjects are welcome, although
be advised that the primary audience is computer scientists. The best way
to get a feel for SIGBOVIK is to look at our past proceedings, which you
can find at http://sigbovik.org.

[0] i.e., *prose*, ha! No wonder they let me write this email again.
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