[SCA-AE] Attitudes to children in the SCA

[Karen Kasper]

Despina wrote:
 
>Has anyone actually *asked* their ombudsman or any member of the board about
this directly?
 
The previous announcements stated the decision was made by Pennsic staff, specifically Mistress Chai and Mistress Ardenia, not the Board. A lot of us have written them, and recieved the canned reply that was posted Tuesday afternoon. It specifically stated that they do not plan to explain themselves. Hence our frustration.
 
I concur with His Grace Cariadoc's analysis of attitudes toward children. I wonder if the people who don't understand why parents are distressed and insulted by this rule have kids of their own? Maybe they do, but don't want their children to ever be placed in any remotely risky situations. If so, they are kidding themselves, because it can't be done.
 
I am entirely happy taking responsibility for my own kids. However, if I want them to grow up to be competent, responsible adults, I *must* allow them opportunities for autonomy - freedom to be responsible for themselves, under controlled conditions to start with, but still some freedom. The older they get, the more freedom parents must cede to their kids if we are to see them grow up to be the kind of people we want them to be.
 
Trust me, it's not easy. We all feel a little clutch at our hearts when we send our kids off to kindergarten for the first time, allow them to cross a city street without holding our hand for the first time, ride their bikes down the street alone to a friend's house for the first time, and let them walk out of camp alone at Pennsic for the first time. Yet these are NECESSARY steps to kids' maturation and self-esteem. There is no way to keep kids completely safe unless we are willing to cripple them emotionally. I, for one, am not.

This rule steals a little of that autonomy from older kids. The modification that was made the other day changes nothing for kids under 12 relative to previously existing Pennsic rules, since they were already required to be with a responsible adult at all times. It's the kids 12 and over who will lose.

Arianna, whose sons are 11 and 14